And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

— Kahlil Gibran

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain

— Mark Twain

@http://reb-ellious.tumblr.com/ ”I’ve never seen anyone do everything wrong so quickly and efficiently!” lol He did not say it to me, fortunately. That cockroach stays away from me! UGH!

Of course there are genuinely kind, giving, caring and wonderful people in the world.

These people do NOT act out narcissistic rage, malicious vengeful acts, shifting from ‘adore’ to ‘abhor’ on a dime, pathologically lie, smear or punish.

Be VERY clear, if your wonderful, giving narcissist – the partner who declares (and even acts as if) you are ‘the love of his / her life’, he or she would ‘take a bullet for you’, ‘drop everything for you’, and always ‘be there for you’ acts in these severely narcissistic ways…the ‘giving’ was never about YOU – it has always been about supplying and preserving the narcissist’s False Self.

Also be very aware, the other connections this person has to people he or she ‘cares about’ (especially ex-partners or acquaintances this person ‘helps’) are not only feeding the narcissist’s False Self, but could very well be compromising the emotional and sexual fidelity of your relationship.

Naturally it could be very easy to fall for a potential partner who portrays how generous, altruistic and caring they are. Not only to the people they care about, but possibly also the ‘world’ in general.

Therefore: Beware of these warning signs to avoid getting involved with an altruistic narcissist:

1) Anyone who professes how important romance is, how they have an incredible amount to give in love, and how they want a partner who can love them as much as they can love. Especially if this person worships the concept of ‘unique and idealised love’.

2) An ex-partner appearing on the scene, especially if this ex-partner freaks out about the narcissist having you as a new partner and starts declaring that a relationship still exists, he or she is still having sexual contact etc. Do NOT just accept your new partner’s excuses to discredit this information. Usually where there is smoke there is fire. Altruistic narcissists need attention, adoration and usually sex. They cannotbear being alone. Another emotional / sexual hookup in the wings is very likely.

3) The self-promotion of being generous, giving and caring. Generous, giving and caring people just are.They certainly do not have to grandstand it and sell it as: ‘This is the wonderful partner that I am and could be for you.’

4) An abusive and/or unavailable relationship with his or her parents. Especially if the abuse was present between the age of 0 – 6.

5) Any expression such as ‘I want to own you heart’ (or your soul). This is not a declaration of healthy love; it is one of narcissistic possession, entitlement and control.

Male altruistic narcissists act as if they are supporters and carers of the women. They appear to revere, protect and promote women. Like all male narcissists they are actually misogynists, demanding the mirroring of love, approval and worthiness from women that they didn’t receive from their mothers, and will seek revenge on these women (their mother) when the False Self’s expectations are inevitably unmet.

At the very least women will be dismissed as ‘not good enough’ to meet the insatiable needs of the False Self.

Therefore also beware of meeting any man who states all the reasons why his previous partners ‘were not good enough for him’. No matter how wonderful and ‘different’ he professes you are now, you will be next in line to fall short of the grandoise demands of his False Self. Be prepared sooner or later to be significantly discredited by him.

Altruistic narcissists are very capable of creating multiple sexual partners, and telling women whatever they need to hear to believe they are exclusive partners and that the narcissist is practicing fidelity.

As Sam Vaknin states: “Narcissist know they are amoral. They recognise this. The truth is they don’t care.”

( From https://www.facebook.com/pages/Melanie-Tonia-Evans/137377772251?ref=stream ”Is the Narcissist Capable of Loving?”)